So last week I spoke quite openly about how I feel about the surrogacy and also how my mind deals with a lot of it so it should be only fitting that this week we jump ship to how my sister Sara and the husbands feel about all of this.
When people ask me about it all they seem to be quite serious and when they flip that same question onto Sara and the husbands they sort of have a comical tone in their voice....why? I really can't answer that but I think it's just people's natural way of trying to come across friendly while being curious at the same time.
Of course you have to have an intensely open sense of humour to be in an out of the ordinary situation but there are some very real feelings and raw thoughts that accompany Sara and the husbands.
I have many conversations to Sara about how she feels about it all, she vents to me often and a lot of the time it's like witnessing myself all those years ago when I was experiencing my infertile struggles and it makes me quite sad. I can see that "look" on her face I always had towards pregnant women, I hear the little remarks which are of course fuelled by jealousy....By looking at her in her "infertile state" I can now see how people perceived me which still pisses me off and she can now understand how I felt towards how people treated me. In a cruel twist of fate it's all somehow been flipped on the twins with being infertile and being a fertile myrtle.
When you are left with no option but to have intervention from other people to have a child (in my case it was IVF and in Sara's case it's using a surrogate) it does leave you a little bitter, jealous, mad, confused and you get an enormous sense of invasion that has been forced upon you, there is no privacy and there is no intimacy that so many other couples have when making life, you can't look at your husband with that naughty glint in your eye reminiscing the nights that led to the expansion of your family....in a nutshell, the entire experience is warped and stolen from you but in the end the dream that becomes a reality is so worth it....but still, all feelings and thoughts that led up to that should still be taken with a handful of sympathy and an armful of hugs.
Sara yearns to be treated like the pregnant one, to have all the TLC put upon her and to be quite honest I can see where she is coming from; I may be the pregnant one but she's the expecting mother, I guess she wants to make up what she can with everything that she is missing from expecting a baby.
But I don't want to make it sound like there is only a negative side to it all cause that's far from the truth, there's more positive feelings and happy expectations to waiting for this baby to come into the world, I don't really need to go in depth with those feelings as anyone who has been pregnant and had a baby knows all the happy warm fuzzy feelings that I'm talking about.
Sara still shops for her bun in the oven, she has a nursery theme picked out and constantly switches back and forth with baby names, sighing in frustration when Lance crosses off every suggestion she painstakingly thought over lol, she squeals with excitement when Squirt moves on the ultrasound machine and talks quite in depth with the obstetrician...
Now if we want to put some truth to the comical side of it then you need not go far. Turn to the husbands for all the sarcastic banter you want. My husband is the worst when it comes to talking about it, he needs to crack a joke at least every fifth sentence and takes a lot of joy in telling people his wife is pregnant to another man and is really happy about it, he needs to feed that comedic monster!
The only downside for Terry is dealing with my constant hormones and mood swings, he openly admits he hates me when I'm pregnant (in a nice joking way people!). He's now watching his wife in her fourth pregnancy and he can't wait for the day when my fifth and final time has come, he even goes as far as threatening to get "the snip" so he never has a chance to deal with pregnancy hormones again but I always threaten him that we still have three frozen embryo's and I'd happily raise them all hehehe, I can almost see him shudder and have a slight look of fear in his eyes at the thought of more pregnancies...now
that feeds my comedic monster lol.
But seriously Terry is quite cruisy with the surrogacy decision, he just lets me do what needs to be done and just goes with the flow, he's never raised a fuss about it (except only to complain about my hormones) and is really supportive and loving towards me and my decision.
Sara's husband Lance, well I have to be honest and say I never really talk in depth with him about it all, in fact I think the only person he opens up to is Sara and there's nothing wrong with that, I do however know he's the same as Terry in his feelings - it doesn't phase him and he's very supportive and excited about it all.
So where am I at you may wonder? Well I'm now 17 weeks 3 days along, it feels like it's speeding by, maybe that's because I have a 14 month old I'm constantly chasing around after and trying to manage an entire household to keep my little family content; before I know it another week has passed and I actually have to think for a few seconds of how far along I actually am!
Movements are getting slightly stronger and the nightly womb parties have begun while I'm trying to sleep...
trying being the key word in that sentence as I also toss and turn and can never get comfortable with the increasing weight of my uterus and the constant trips to the bathroom but it's all apart of the magical world of pregnancy and it's all loved and laughed over.
