5 months on...

Whoops....did I miss a couple of months? Yes i did!! Life in the last couple of months seems to have sped by and I just never got around to posting my monthly updates and for that I deeply apologise!

But if I was being honest there hasn't been a tremendous amount of updates regarding the surrogacy or "post" surrogacy I should say, I can however inform you of the tremendous amount of smiles that Bennett is sharing with everyone though, and the giggles! Wow he is just one big ball of cuteness when those baby giggles start!!

Bennett 3 months old and full of smiles

He is getting so chubby now too, those rolls are so gorgeous to look at, now if only we saw ourselves in that way too the world would be such a happier confident place!! ;) 

And boy oh boy does he love his mama! He is a complete mama's boy and hates Sara to be out of range from his sight, the air sirens will start warming up....waaaaaaa (little moaning sound) until BAM! It goes from warming up to full on state of emergency air sirens WAAAAAAAA in 3 seconds flat until Sara picks him up, immediate silence and smiles replace the sirens! I love how simple and effective baby language is lol! 

Loving his mama!

So there hasn't been too much progress in the legal side of things, we are still waiting for the adoption papers to be finalised by a judge. A few weeks ago me and Terry did however have our meet up with the social worker to get our statements and feelings on the whole thing....it's basically just a report done so the judge can see how this all came about and if there is any hindrances to complete the adoption, it's following the NZ 1955 adoption act which is severely outdated and a lot of the stuff doesn't even fit in with surrogacy....it's like trying to force a piece of jigsaw in on the puzzle that doesn't fit but you have to make it fit cause there is no other way to compete the picture. Here's hoping all the talk of the act being revised for surrogacy cases does indeed happen so future couples have an act that actually suits the situation.....

I did have to laugh as the questions I was asked (and Terry too of course) were questions I've been asked 100 times before and the answers are pretty obvious! For example "do you have any regrets about Bennett being raised by Sara & Lance?"..... If I did he wouldn't be there with Sara full stop.

There was one question that really irked me though, one that the "legal people" love to ask, "will you tell the kids all about this, let your son know he has a little brother?".... The simple answer to that is he doesn't have a little brother, he does however have a little cousin and yes he will be told how his COUSIN was conceived and why it happened the way it did. 

You have all these legal representatives that do it all this way to put the child's best interests at heart, but how is planting a seed of confusion into their heads helping them out? We are trying to teach them how this baby was made and why and what his "title" is to them and then these people come along and mention something completely different and just don't really get it...My children are not Bennett's siblings and I am not Bennett's mother, there is more than just genetics that make a mother to a child. Sara is mum, Lance is Dad, Holly is sister, my son Hunter is cousin, my husband Terry is uncle full stop, that's how simple it really is to us, I only wish others saw it that way too...

So darling Bennett is 5 months old, nearly half of his first year has already passed! How on earth did it speed by that fast!? Well I have enjoyed it all, watching this little miracle grow with each passing month and seeing his little personality emerge more and more. I am a very blessed Aunty and so very proud for creating this life that has brought so much sunshine to everyone's lives :) 

Bennett 5 months old, loving his jolly jumper!

Bennett is such a chubby little snuggle monster just like my boy Hunter was as a baby, and it's always lovely when I babysit Bennett and he just hangs out with me on my front in the mei-tai (baby carrier) while I potter around doing my housework, Aunty bonding time is always awesome! And you definitely should cherish these early months because its not long until they weigh much more and it feels like you are carting around a baby hippo on your hip or they are squirming to get away from you to go play! 

Hanging out with Aunty (me!)

There is still a lot of conversation directed towards me about this whole surrogacy, people still find it fascinating and a lot of people like to bring up how I always used to say when I was pregnant that I was not going to be a big wreck "giving him up" etc and they love to ask "now that he is actually here, has it been different to what you expected? Did you need counselling after all?" And it's usually always finished off with "cause I could never give up a baby myself!!" (that's the most famous line I hear)

I usually have a good chuckle to myself every time I hear these questions..... and sorry to disappoint you everyone but there is no personal soap opera going on in my life from all of this, I'm not lying on a sofa spilling my emotions to a psychologist while he scribbles down how unstable I am lol.....this may sound shocking to some but I felt absolutely nothing handing that little bundle of joy over to Sara and Lance, ok, that might be an exaggeration, I did feel something! I felt happiness! 

I've said it many times before, if you are going to be a surrogate you need to be in the right frame of mind, you need to be hard wired that there is absolutely no maternal bond between you and the bump growing in front of you, you are solely a force of nature doing a natural thing (growing a baby) for another woman that cannot do it herself, it really IS that simple and there is no need to erupt it into a big drama that will do no good for anyone. So when I say I felt absolutely nothing when I handed him over and I haven't had any sadness or regret or 'wondering' since his birth it doesn't mean I'm a cold hearted person that has no feelings, that would be majorly wrong to label me as such because I love Bennett dearly like I love all my other nieces and nephews and I will always have a "special" bond with him!
It does take a special kind of someone to be a surrogate, many people have told me that and I do believe it myself...yeah I'm kinda tooting my own horn but when you've accomplished the biggest thing EVER (that's giving the gift of life to someone) in my books that gives you a free hall pass to be as proud as you want to be. Power to all the surrogates out there!!

A Quote for all the surrogates that become a surrogate from a similar situation to mine & Sara's.

1 + 1 = 2 months on!

Two days ago baby Bennett turned two months old! I cannot believe it's been two months since a makeshift vagina was cut into my stomach to get him out! He is now full of smiles and giggles and much to his mummy's sanity levels sometimes; he's full of alertness! This baby just dosn't want to sleep at all during the day... looks like he's inherited my insomnia, curiosity, and a dash of slight nosiness needing to know what is going on around him! That's ok though, means we get more cuddles!

Smiles!

He is getting so chub chubs now too, no more scrawny little legs; he's now got rolls!! rolls upon rolls of cuteness!

And more smiles!

I'm also suspecting that one of his first milestones won't be too far off - rolling! he's pushing himself more and more onto his side, he'll be on the move before we know it, watch out mama you might have another early crawler and walker on your hands!!

In regards to all the boring legal stuff, we are still waiting for our court date for the judge to finalise the adoption, that could take months though so not holding my breathe for that to happen any time soon but in our eyes Bennett has always been Sara and Lance's baby anyway, I was just a womb on loan for this beautiful boy to thrive in!

Tomorrow Bennett gets to do something very special! He will be celebrating his big sister's 4th birthday!
I cannot believe little Miss Holly is going to be four, I still remember the day Holly was born and walking into the hospital room with a very edgey mum and dad afraid to make the slightest movement incase Holly woke up and started to cry lol! They have come a long way since then, that's for certain!

Holly with her 4th birthday kindy cake

And how am I doing? quite well actually! I can now fit into my pre pregnancy jeans, yayness! I'm just plodding along like I always do, life has settled back into it's normal routine and at times, in fact, a lot of the time I actually forget I was the one that was pregnant with Bennett! I'm just so used to seeing him with my sister that my brain just automatically thinks Sara was the one that did all of that....but my stretch marks and new c-section scar quickly remind me lol!
I have also been blessed with two more nephews since Bennett's arrival! Baby Arlo who arrived on April 30th and Baby Orson who arrived on May 27th! .... my niece/nephew clan keeps growing! It's going to be a very expensive Christmas this year but also a Christmas filled with much more giggles, smiles and excitement running around the house, I can't wait!

We were also very pleased to have the very talented kiwi blogger Summer Cockerell blog about our story too, written so beautifully! you can view it here:
Summer Cockerell's Blog

Well that's about all for this month! xo

One month on.....

So it's been one month since Bennett was born! The time really has flown by. It's been an absolute blessing to have this little boy in our family and watching him grow ever so slightly each time I see him, his little newborn legs are starting to get chubby and there is a slight hint of a smile appearing on his face from time to time. So who wants to see some cute newborn photo's...I'm guessing all of you so here you are...

Bennett 1 week old

This newborn photo was taken by Zandy J Photography, such an amazing talented woman! You can find her website here: Zandy J Photography and her facebook page here: Zandy J Photography - Facebook

Bennett 2 weeks old

Bennett 3 weeks old, with his mama

Bennett 1 month old!

Bennett has been world famous in New Zealand, he has been a little TV star right from the second he was born...well actually before that; his first camera appearance was when I was 19 weeks along and we were finding out that he was a boy...some of you are probably wondering TV star!? what on earth is she talking about??? ...Well what I kept hush hush from my blog entries was we had 20/20 NZ following us around on this amazing journey right from the beginning of my pregnancy and shortly after Bennett's birth our story aired on national TV. It was a blast working with 20/20 over these months and for those who missed our story or for my oversea's followers who would like to view it you can do so by clicking on this link: 20/20 video

Over the last month there has been quite a lot going on behind the scenes, we have had endless contact with our lawyers getting all the adoption papers sorted out and in fact yesterday we (as in myself and my hubby Terry) signed Bennett over to his proper mama and daddy! why Terry aswell? well basically the adoption laws in New Zealand have not been updated since 1955, therefore because Terry is my husband it makes him the legal father even though he is not blood related to this child. It was a nice feeling putting my name on the dotted line because I know how much it means to Sara and Lance to have all of this "official" and to have a birth certificate with both their names listed as Bennett's parents... now all we need is a court date to come through once our paperwork has been filed and the adoption will be all official once the judge gives it the all clear! Like my lawyer said - "now it's just a waiting game"!
How's home life in the Smith household? Well it's all fine and dandy, Holly is so in love with her baby brother, she is a very doting big sister and showers him with hugs and kisses. Mama and Daddy have adjusted really well to having another newborn in the house and have been having a lot of fun with explosive poo's with a dash of bags under the eyes from the night time wake up's but they are loving every moment of it and it's nice seeing some peace settle over their household since Bella's death. But I want to remind everyone that Bennett is not an "erasing tool" to wipe away the pain of losing Bella, he is his own unique person and is simply another child to Sara and Lance not a replacement of Bella. They will always have three children even though only two are with them (in the physical sense).

Holly having cuddles with her baby brother

And how are things with me? Many people have been wondering how I have been dealing with all of it emotionally and wondering if seeing Bennett before my own eyes instead of just feeling him in my tummy makes it all the more harder; honestly, that has not made it any harder and not once have I felt any difficulty handing him over to my sister and watching her raise and care for Bennett. Bennett was always Sara's and only ever my nephew. In fact I'm so at ease with feeling just a nephew/Aunty  bond with him that sometimes I actually forget that I was the one that gave birth to him and for a split second think Sara was the one that did all of that. It may sound strange or confusing to a lot of people but it's just as simple as what I have been explaining over the last 9 months - I am Aunty, Bennett is nephew, full stop.

Even though it's been an entire month since Bennett was born it has not lessened the love and support I have been getting from my friends and family; even strangers! I have always said it means a lot, and honestly it does :) So again thank you for all the love and support and of course thank you for following this amazing journey, the pregnancy talk may be over and done with but the blog entries (once monthly now) following Bennett's first year have just begun!

xoxo

SQUIRT IS HERE!!!!!

We are so pleased to announce that Squirt has arrived! He did make an early appearance just like I predicted! He arrived on April 2nd, 9:40pm weighing 7lb 9oz, 50cm in length....and for all those people who don't follow me on facebook, I'm sure you would like to know what his name is; this little man is called Bennett and here he is all brand new:

Bennett aka Squirt!

So of course this blog is all about his entrance into this world so what's needed!?.....ahhhh that would be a good birth story cause I'm sure you all are wanting to know every nitty gritty detail about what happened on that night! So here it goes!

38 weeks 4 days

10:30am

Me and Hunter wake up from a late sleep in, we have a few cuddles and giggles in bed and like usual I'm needing a toilet trip, so I waddle over to the en-suite and notice I'm feeling a bit gooey down there so I grab some toilet paper and wipe and I notice some of my mucus plug is coming out in bits and pieces. Hunter being the typical toddler is standing in front of me while I'm on the toilet and I say to him "this is going to be an interesting day!". I've also noticed I'm feeling a bit crampy (like light period pain) so I'm getting a bit suspicious that things have started but I say to Squirt that I have a very busy day so he's not allowed to come today.

12:30pm

Sara arrives at my house as we have my pre-op appointment at Greenlane hospital for the elective c-section which is supposed to be happening on Friday (3 more days). We load my boy Hunter into the car and then head out to pick Holly up early from kindy and then drop them both off at Lance's mum's place (Sara's mum-in-law), we then head out to the hospital for the appointment.

2pm

We both need to go toilet so we rush into the toilets before the appointment and once I'm in the stall I notice my bloody show has happened with more of my mucus plug coming out and once I go to the toilet I notice the cramping is starting to get stronger....we walk out into the corridor and I say to Sara "omg Sara! my bloody show just happened", her head whips around at the speed of light and says "whaaaaaaat! oh my gosh oh my gosh do you think we should ring Dereck!? (our obstetrician)" to which I reply "pfffft no no labour could still be days away and by that time I'll be having the c-section..."

2:45pm

Our appointment is over and done with and I've been given all the forms and times for arrival and surgery times etc for Friday, I text hubby and tell him about my bloody show and the cramping and he texts back saying that I'll probably have a baby tonight, he's having a good laugh about it.
We then head over to the cafe since the appointment went faster than what we thought and we get some lunch and coffee's. We are tossing up whether to call Dereck or not and we make the decision to head back to my place before picking the kids up and just let him know what's going on as there is no harm in filling him in.

3:30pm

Cramps are actually turning into contractions that are ranging from 2 - 6 minutes apart, we arrive back at my place and before calling Dereck I go to the toilet.....holy shitballs there is a huge brown mucus plug in my undies, I instantly nickname him 'Mr Slug'. I shout out to Sara "ummmmm oh my gosh there is a huge slug in my undies!", I show her and her eyes bulge out of their sockets, I then ring Dereck and I tell him all about my bloody show, the giant slug and the contractions, and he immediately says "women's assessment unit it is for you, I'll meet you there". I say to Sara "lets go get the kids sorted and pick up your hospital stuff cause you're probably having a baby tonight!"

6pm

We arrive at Auckland Hospital, the husbands are also just arriving and I'm hooked up to the CTG machine which is showing some obvious contractions.
7pm

Dereck arrives, takes one look at the CTG readings and says "yup you're in labour, you're having a baby tonight, say at around 8pm"....Sara goes into instant panic mode and I'm barking orders at her to ring Dianne and Murray (Lance's parents) and ring the husbands, because they had popped out to get some dinner. Everyone is on hyper speed mode but we soon get told we have been bumped down a place in theatre as an emergency c-section comes in (funnily enough we later learn that it was a friend of ours having her twins!! small world aye!), we are relieved as it actually gives us some time to let it sink in that we are about to have a baby!
My contractions are getting stronger and I'm silently cringing which each one and before I know it the surgical team is coming up to get us!! eeeek this is getting super real now!!!!!

8pm'ish

I'm wheeled down the corridors and I have a tribe of people rushing behind me keeping up with the bed, we reach the surgical area doors and then it's just me and Sara who then go beyond those doors, everyone else is to wait.....
Sara is then taken away to get dressed in her sexy scrubs and the final paperwork is signed for my surgery and I have a final talk with the anaesthetist and we are then taken through to theatre and I'm then prepped for surgery, my spinal block goes in and before long my bottom half is going numb, they help me lie down on the table, other bits and pieces are done and regardless of being through this before and the "ice test" they do to test if the block has worked I start getting nervous that I'm going to feel the knife slice me open as I can still feel fingertips pressing down on my stomach, the anaesthetist assures me it's ok, I will feel "pressure" but won't feel the pain and he says they do not test with knives to which I have a giggle over. To make me feel better and to reassure me Dereck then asks if I felt the pincher's on my belly and I say "oh! no I didn't feel a thing!" so I then give him the all clear to go ahead, next thing I hear is Dereck saying oh so calmly "cut" and it's all underway....
Sara is sitting next to me, she's recording on a little camcorder and we're just chatting away while Dereck is working his magic, eventually all of these hands are all over me and my stomach and rib area is getting yanked and pulled and pushed and I'm thinking blimin heck my tummy is morphing into a giant vagina and it's getting manhandled like crazy!!! Then suddenly someone says "the baby is coming now!", Sara stands up to watch her son coming into the world and all of a sudden I feel a huge pressure being released and this baby is pulled free and all I hear is "waaaaaaaa waaaaaaaaaaaaa waaaaaaaaaaaaa!!!!!!!!!!!" He's absolutely protesting about all of this but it's music to our ears and Sara is overcome with emotion and bursts into tears, she looks at me and says "I'm crying!" with tears rolling down her face and I start laughing saying "really! I hadn't noticed", we have a giggle over that and they then bring Squirt around the screen so I can see him and here is this perfect purple gooey baby crying away....besides my own son being born this was the most beautiful sight I have seen.
Sara gets to go over to the little baby table where his stats are being done, his apgar score is 9 at 1 minute, (excellent!) and Sara also gets to cut the remainder of the cord. She then brings him back over to where I am and sits next to me having skin to skin while I get stitched up.
I keep looking at Sara and all I see is love and pure happiness on her face and it's the most rewarding feeling ever. I have given my sister the most precious gift on this earth!
10:30'ish pm

Sara leaves the theatre to go into the recovery room with Squirt and I'm only a few minutes behind her, I'm wheeled out and I look over and see Sara and Lance. Lance is craddling Squirt in his arms having his first cuddle and he's looking down on his son and he is just fully absorbed into him, he is so in love! I'm wheeled in next to them and I just lay there looking at Sara and Lance and feel so honoured I get to witness this very intimate moment in their lives, Lance keeps looking at Sara and you can see he is falling in love with Sara all over again, it just melts my heart and reminds me of the first moments me and Terry had while meeting our son for the first time, I must've fallen in love with my husband 50 times over again that day!
The birth of your babies is the most magical day you will ever experience, there is nothing that can prepare you for it and it will give you a lifetime of memories!

Holly meeting her baby brother for the first time.

It's hard to believe that this journey is now at it's end, it's been such an adventure, such a unique experience. I would like to take a few minutes to thank everyone who offered so much love and support through this journey, a huge thank you to my best friend Sarah who shared every moment of this journey, who literally knew within minutes of that first pregnancy test and who kept her phone on her in those late hours of Bennett's arrival just to know everything was ok and who text and rung me all throughout the days I was in hospital, she makes sure to boss me around making sure I am resting and recovering and provides me with so many laughs. 

A huge thank you to my sis-in-law Sandy, I don't need to go into detail as to why I am thanking you, you know already ;)
Thank you to Lance's family who in turn became my family throughout this journey, we will always share such a special connection and I have never known such a beautiful, caring, loving family.
Of course thank you to my family, family should always be a clan who you can always turn to and put trust into and my family always offered this.
The biggest thank you needs to go to my husband, without you this beautiful baby boy would not be here, it was your "permission" that made this all happen. You are a selfless supportive man who is one in a million, there are not many men on this earth that would allow their wives to have a baby with another man and have a smile on his face all the way through the 9 months, you cooked and cleaned, vacuumed and scrubbed, you took care of our son and still worked 6 days a week. You are a legend, my one and only and I will always be grateful for all you sacrificed.

My bond with my sister was already tremendous before all of this happened but now there are no words to describe the relationship we share with each other. We will forever have each other's backs in life. Nothing is impossible. Where there is great love, there are always miracles.

Eviction notice posted!

"Only two more weeks to go and I get to meet my baby brother aye Aunty!" says Holly.
Yup that's right, well now it's less than two weeks....only 11 more days, at the most!

The majority of women who are heavily pregnant and near their due date come to a point when they just want baby out! Yesterday I hit 37 weeks 2 days along and that was my eviction notice day! I am so physically exhausted and by the time 11am hits I'm ready for bed again,  even though sleeping is impossible and not to mention painful on my pelvic and fufu bones! It literally feels like there is a bowling bowl trying to squeeze itself out every time I walk...well who am I kidding!? there is a bowling bowl trying to squeeze itself out every time I walk! I spent the majority of yesterday snapping grumpily, drifting off to sleep and being tearful and hormonal. Sleep deprivation is always a huge piece of straw that breaks the camels back and I am just really looking forward to being able to sleep a good night's sleep and being able to put on my undies without it being a 10 minute effort that strains the brain like a rubix cube, when you get to this stage it really is a huge physical struggle to do anything from the waist down. You feel like a T-Rex!

Good news is it's Monday and that means this eviction notice I've slapped on my belly is quite welcome to take affect at any time as my obstetrician is back from whatever tropical island he was sipping pina colada's on, I am more than happy to begin my hospital stay now! Let's bring on the newborn cuddles!

37 weeks along!

One thing I always find rather amusing and if I'm honest - annoying; is how hyped up people get in the last couple of weeks before baby is due to make an appearance....If I post one little status on facebook that has the words 'hospital' or 'baby' in it people go into a frenzy like a poorly made zombie movie....they are trying to read between the lines where there is actually no reading to be found and my phone starts going nuts with people wondering if I'm in labour or at the hospital huffing on gas and getting poked with pethidine shots.....the answer is always the same - NO I AM NOT.

I'm pretty sure I have made it clear in the past that if I did go into labour spontaneously I will not be documenting my every move on facebook, you will see no status updates, photo's, comments...nothing, until Squirt has made it into this world and Sara and Lance are ready to let everyone know and have announced it first themselves, after all this is their baby and their news to announce, no-one else's and that no-one else also includes myself. And while we are on the subject of facebook and the wonderful world of phone communication, I also will not give you the time of day my c-section is booked in for, you all know the date is April 5th but the time is secret so in the nicest possible way... stop asking :-P I'm honestly not trying to go out of my way to be a grumpy grump grump biatch, it's just that I feel I deserve a bit of privacy before all the announcements are made and the mayhem begins with newborn excitement, this of course doesn't apply to immediate family or my utmost bestie bestie but don't panic people! It's not like we would not tell you for a week or so then suddenly say "oh by the way...last week we had a baby..." lol.

Anyways......there is actually not much more to post about this week, it is literally a sit and wait time and a countdown of the the 11 days! Bring it on!!

 

Some niggly niggles!

It's been a very interesting few days, I'm beginning to think this nephew of mine will be excelling in drama classes and will be the next big thing on Broadway!
I had my massage late on Friday afternoon and ..................................






Oh Sorry! I drifted off just thinking of the heavenly relaxing bliss of it all! As a result I have spent the last couple of days pain free in my back, I've been having terrible sciatic nerve pain which had me in tears all last week, not to mention my fufu feels like it's been hit with a sledge hammer! I forgot how it all felt in the last few weeks with a bowling ball resting on your nether region, so the massage was a welcome delight! Thanks so much to Dianne and Natasha (Squirts Nana and Aunty) for getting the massage for me!!
Now the next day was not so relaxing, I woke up at 7am feeling braxton hicks which just got stronger and closer together, by noon it had gotten to a point where these were not just some niggles, these were feeling like the real thing with a few deep breaths needed on my part so the obstetrician was called, much to my despair my beloved Dereck was not on call that weekend and he has gone away until next Monday but I still struck it lucky and got the other obstetrician who was not Mr. Desert Man with the oh so dried up sense of humour. So if these contractions did not settle or got worse within a couple of hours it was going to be another hospital trip for me, I was ordered on bedrest and shortly after putting my feet up and having hubby come home to take care of hurricane Hunter they eased off.
Think that was the end of it? ....nope they were back again last night, barely a couple of minutes apart with me waddling even more awkwardly like I had a bowling ball sitting on my cervix trying to see some daylight so just when I was about to phone the obstetrician again they stopped. Hmmmm what is this cheeky baby upto? I'm highly doubting I am going to make it to 39 weeks. I'm not too fussed if he does come a little earlier but he cannot come this week as I want my obstetrician doing all the work and not a fill in.....here's hoping you don't see a birth announcement in next weeks blog!

36 weeks along!

The last few days has seen an even bigger awareness in my boy Hunter, all he wants to do is try and detach this baby hanging off the front of me, he covers Squirt like a starfish and looks up at me with a big cheesy grin, you can see the little twinkle in his eye suggesting "you're all mine mummy!!!! no-one else is to get your attention!!" ....He's reminding me a lot of Smeagol guarding his precious. It's cute of course but gosh does it create a lot more work for me trying to meet all of his attention hungry pursuits!

Sara is getting a lot more anxious and impatient, she's not too sure how she will wait less than 3 more weeks but she may be having her eyes hanging out of their sockets with sleep deprivation sooner than later with the rate of all these little tricks Squirt is playing!!
The big day is fast approaching! only 18 more days to go!

18 more days!

25 days to go.....

So what number are we up to on the glorious baby countdown? well that number will be 25! yup only 25 days to go!!!! It's very exciting and surreal at the same time to think there will be a brand new baby born into the family in just over 3 weeks time.
A lot of people are asking if I am looking forward to "having my body back"...well yes I am because I really want to sleep on my tummy again and it would be rather lovely being able to get out of bed without the need of a heavy duty crane to pull me out! But the other part of me will really miss being pregnant and I have a long wait until we will be ready to have another baby, not for sanity reasons (well actually that's a lie lol) but more for safety & health reasons. I still get many remarks from people saying once Squirt is born we can get straight back onto completing our family....jez! give me a break and give my body a break, there's only so much human growing I can do at any given time and at the end of the day I have to be sensible and give my scar site time to heal, I'm birthing sun roof babies not exhaust pipe babies afterall!

Big sister Holly is starting to get very excited about the arrival of her baby brother, she really senses it's coming up soon and loves to talk about all the things she will do with her brother.
I saw her yesterday and she ran straight up to my belly waving hello to Squirt, she also got very excited when she saw a "fairy" floating in the wind and I asked her if she made a wish, to which she replied "I wish that Squirt will come out and then he will grow!"
I will miss her first reaction to seeing her baby brother since I will most likely still be in surgery getting stitched up and I'm kinda disappointed in that but there will be a camera there to capture these moments and that's just as good as the real thing in these situations!

So I got my pre-admission appointment confirmed for April 2nd and highlighted on the form it says "this is the appointment before the birth of your baby"....gosh it makes it all so real that this really is happening in a matter of 3+ weeks time! I also have another OB appointment this Wednesday and we are doing the birth plan, well yeah it will be pretty straight forward being that it's an elective c-section but it will also be fun being able to plan skin to skin for Sara etc, I can't wait to see how a "different" birth scenario all unfolds on the day with the new mummy being a completely different woman to the one that just had the baby lol!
My OB will be away the week before Squirt is due to be born *insert major freak out here!*. I have been having some stern words to Squirt saying he must not surprise me and come that week!! I would be gutted to have his fill in "Mr Desert Man", argh can't crack a smile out of that dry personality!

I will make sure to flaunt in my next blog update about the pregnancy massage I am getting on Friday, what bliss!!!! I'll be bang on 36 weeks and yes I am in desperate need of some pampering!! aaahhhhhh I can just imagine all the aches and pains melting away...ok I'll stop rubbing it in....until Monday.
That Friday also has another exciting element added into it, Sara will be getting her head shaved for Shave for a cure. No more hair! Her goal was to raise $750 but she ended up racking in a whopping $1,415!
Only $85 needed to hit the $1500 mark, If you would like to make a donation before Friday please click on this link:
Sara's shave for a cure page.

So that's really about it from me this week, I know, nothing too thrilling to read about but that's all that's really happened in the last week.
So until next week keep well!